Manager Feeling Low: 14 Years Experience, Never Felt This Way

Hey everyone, it's tough to admit, but I'm feeling pretty down lately. I've been a people manager for 14 years, and I've always prided myself on being a strong leader, a supportive mentor, and someone my team could count on. But lately, I feel like I'm failing. The weight of responsibilities, the constant pressure to deliver, and the emotional toll of managing a team through challenging times have all taken a toll. I'm exhausted, I'm stressed, and honestly, I'm starting to question if I'm even cut out for this anymore.

The Unseen Burdens of a People Manager

People management, guys, it's not just about assigning tasks and tracking progress. It's about so much more. It's about understanding each team member's individual needs, motivations, and challenges. It's about creating a supportive environment where everyone feels valued and empowered. It's about navigating conflicts, providing feedback, and making difficult decisions. And it's about doing all of this while also trying to meet your own goals and deadlines. For 14 years, I've juggled these responsibilities, and most of the time, I've felt like I was doing a pretty good job. I've seen team members grow and succeed, I've built strong relationships, and I've contributed to the overall success of the organization. But recently, the balance has shifted. The demands have increased, the resources have dwindled, and the emotional weight has become almost unbearable.

The Growing Demands and Shrinking Resources

In today's fast-paced work environment, the pressure to do more with less is relentless. Companies are constantly looking for ways to cut costs and increase efficiency, which often translates to heavier workloads for managers and their teams. We're expected to manage larger teams, handle more projects, and respond to constant changes in priorities. At the same time, resources are often limited. Budgets are tight, staffing levels are low, and training opportunities are scarce. This creates a situation where managers are stretched thin, and it's difficult to provide the level of support and guidance that their teams need. I feel this pressure acutely. I want to be there for my team, but I'm also struggling to keep up with my own workload. I find myself working longer hours, sacrificing my personal time, and still feeling like I'm falling behind. This constant pressure is exhausting, and it's starting to impact my well-being.

The Emotional Toll of Managing People

Beyond the logistical challenges, the emotional toll of managing people can be significant. As a people manager, you're not just dealing with tasks and projects; you're dealing with people's lives, their careers, and their emotions. You're the one they turn to when they're struggling, when they're facing challenges, or when they're feeling overwhelmed. You're expected to be empathetic, supportive, and understanding, even when you're dealing with your own stress and challenges. This emotional labor can be draining, especially during difficult times. When team members are struggling with personal issues, work-related stress, or conflicts with colleagues, it's the manager who often has to step in and provide support. This can involve listening to their concerns, offering advice, mediating disputes, and connecting them with resources. While I genuinely care about my team and want to help them, it can be emotionally taxing to carry their burdens in addition to my own. It's like being a sponge, absorbing everyone else's emotions, and sometimes I feel like I'm overflowing.

Questioning My Abilities and My Path

This leads me to the toughest part: I'm questioning my abilities and my chosen path. Have I lost my touch? Am I no longer effective as a leader? The doubts creep in during quiet moments, those late nights when I'm staring at a screen filled with unanswered emails and unaddressed issues. I start to wonder if I'm making a difference, if my efforts are truly helping anyone. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this anymore. Maybe the years have taken their toll, and I'm burned out beyond repair.

The Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome

Self-doubt is a constant companion for many people managers, especially during challenging times. It's easy to second-guess your decisions, to wonder if you're doing the right thing, or to worry that you're not meeting expectations. This can lead to feelings of imposter syndrome, the belief that you're a fraud and that you're going to be exposed as incompetent. I've always strived to be a confident and capable leader, but lately, the self-doubt has been overwhelming. I find myself questioning my decisions, replaying conversations in my head, and worrying about the impact of my actions. It's like a constant internal critic, whispering doubts and undermining my confidence. This makes it difficult to lead effectively, to make clear decisions, and to inspire my team. I know that I need to overcome these feelings of self-doubt, but it's easier said than done. I need to remind myself of my past successes, to focus on my strengths, and to trust my instincts. But right now, it feels like I'm fighting an uphill battle.

The Burnout and Exhaustion

Beyond the self-doubt, there's the burnout. The sheer exhaustion of juggling multiple responsibilities, managing a team through challenges, and dealing with constant pressure has left me feeling drained and depleted. I'm tired, both physically and emotionally. I have less energy, less motivation, and less patience. It's getting harder to find joy in my work, and I'm starting to dread going to the office each day. This burnout is not only impacting my work performance but also my personal life. I'm less present with my family, less engaged in my hobbies, and less able to take care of myself. I know that I need to make some changes to address this burnout, but I'm not sure where to start. I need to find ways to recharge my batteries, to set boundaries, and to prioritize my well-being. But right now, it feels like I'm caught in a cycle of stress and exhaustion, and I'm struggling to break free.

Seeking Solutions and Finding Support

So, what now? I know I can't continue feeling this way. I need to find solutions, seek support, and regain my footing. This is where I start actively looking for ways to climb out of this hole, to remind myself why I chose this path, and to rediscover the passion I once had for my work. The first step is acknowledging the problem and being honest with myself about how I'm feeling. It's not easy to admit that I'm struggling, but it's a necessary step towards finding a solution. I know that I can't do this alone, and I need to reach out for help.

The Importance of Self-Care

Self-care is not selfish; it's essential, especially for people managers. We often prioritize the needs of our team and our organization, but we need to remember to take care of ourselves as well. This means making time for activities that we enjoy, getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and exercising regularly. It also means setting boundaries and learning to say no when we're feeling overwhelmed. I know that I haven't been prioritizing self-care lately, and it's starting to take a toll. I need to make a conscious effort to carve out time for myself, to disconnect from work, and to recharge my batteries. This might involve taking a break, going for a walk, reading a book, or spending time with loved ones. Whatever it is, I need to make it a priority. Self-care is not a luxury; it's a necessity for maintaining my well-being and my ability to lead effectively.

The Power of Seeking Mentorship and Guidance

Mentorship can provide invaluable support and guidance, especially during challenging times. Talking to someone who has been in your shoes, who understands the pressures of people management, and who can offer advice and perspective can make a huge difference. I'm fortunate to have a network of colleagues and mentors who I can turn to for support. I need to be more proactive in reaching out to them, sharing my struggles, and seeking their guidance. Mentorship is not just about receiving advice; it's also about building relationships and creating a sense of community. Knowing that I'm not alone in my struggles can be incredibly comforting, and it can give me the strength to keep going. I also need to be open to learning from others, to seeking out new perspectives, and to challenging my own assumptions. This can help me to grow as a leader and to navigate difficult situations more effectively.

The Value of Open Communication

Open communication is crucial for building trust and fostering a supportive team environment. As a people manager, it's important to create a space where team members feel comfortable sharing their concerns, their ideas, and their challenges. This means being a good listener, providing constructive feedback, and being transparent about decisions and expectations. I also need to be open with my team about my own struggles. While it's important to maintain a sense of leadership and confidence, it's also okay to be vulnerable and to admit when you're feeling overwhelmed. This can help to humanize you as a leader and to create a stronger connection with your team. When team members know that you're willing to be open and honest, they're more likely to reciprocate, which can lead to a more collaborative and supportive work environment. Open communication is not just about talking; it's also about listening, understanding, and building relationships.

Reclaiming My Passion and Purpose

Ultimately, I believe I can reclaim my passion and purpose as a people manager. It won't be easy, and it will require effort, but I'm committed to making the changes necessary to regain my footing and find joy in my work again. I need to remind myself why I chose this path in the first place, what I value about leading and supporting others, and what impact I want to make. It's about remembering the positive aspects of the role, the moments of connection and growth, the satisfaction of seeing team members succeed, and the sense of purpose that comes from making a difference. It's also about being realistic about the challenges, accepting that there will be difficult times, and developing strategies for coping with stress and pressure.

I'm sharing this because I know I'm not alone. Many people managers experience these feelings at some point in their careers. It's a tough job, but it's also a rewarding one. By sharing our experiences, supporting each other, and seeking solutions together, we can navigate these challenges and rediscover our passion for leading others.

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Mr. Loba Loba

A journalist with more than 5 years of experience ·

A seasoned journalist with more than five years of reporting across technology, business, and culture. Experienced in conducting expert interviews, crafting long-form features, and verifying claims through primary sources and public records. Committed to clear writing, rigorous fact-checking, and transparent citations to help readers make informed decisions.